Bigger Picture, after exams, stoning

It’s been ages since I last blogged and I decided to revive it. Been blog-surfing this few days and I realised that God has been telling me the same word over and over and over this whole week, look at the bigger picture. After reading many blogs and talking to Desmond over dinner yesterday, I realised I’ve been concentrating at small issues of the problem instead of thinking of how to solve everything with just one solution. Anyways, I’ll be posting more often now since exams are over and it’s permanent stoning at home of a no lifer like me and mapling all day long. Hope camp will come really soon since it’s the only camp I’m looking forward to(not for fun but to meet God). Oh yeah saturday was great although I missed praise because I overslept. Sermon struck me a lot as I went to service with a heavy heart. P.S. I haven’t slept for 69 hours(no joking). Needa catch up on sleep, relationship with God and people.

They Don’t Care About Us

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
Situation, aggravation
Everybody allegation
In the suite, on the news
Everybody dog food
Bang bang, shot dead
Everybody’s gone mad

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

Beat me, hate me
You can never break me
Will me, thrill me
You can never kill me
Jew me, sue me
Everybody do me
Kick me, kick me
Don’t you black or white me

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

Tell me what has become of my life
I have a wife and two children who love me
I am the victim of police brutality, now
I’m tired of bein’ the victim of hate
You’re rapin’ me of my pride
Oh, for God’s sake
I look to heaven to fulfill its prophecy…
Set me free

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
trepidation, speculation
Everybody allegation
In the suite, on the news
Everybody dog food
black man, black male
Throw your brother in jail

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

Tell me what has become of my rights
Am I invisible because you ignore me?
Your proclamation promised me free liberty, now
I’m tired of bein’ the victim of shame
They’re throwing me in a class with a bad name
I can’t believe this is the land from which I came
You know I do really hate to say it
The government don’t wanna see
But if Roosevelt was livin’
He wouldn’t let this be, no, no

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
Situation, speculation
Everybody litigation
Beat me, bash me
You can never trash me
Hit me, kick me
You can never get me

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

Some things in life they just don’t wanna see
But if Martin Luther was livin’
He wouldn’t let this be

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
Situation, segregation
Everybody allegation
In the suite, on the news
Everybody dog food
Kick me, strike me
Don’t you wrong or right me

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

Why bother helping when you’re gonna get a scolding?

Who can I turn to for support? No one. Seriously no one. Why the heck is people just going against me? Damn it! Everytime I try to help, I get scolded, ridiculed, everything. I just get all the shit for trying to help. Come on man, is it a sin to help people? No right? If it’s a sin, then Jesus would have been the greatest sinner. Look at the amount of people he helped, and what He got in return, His death upon the cross. Why do I even bother to help when I know I’m gonna get this shit? Turn to people for help? Don’t freaking give me this shit. And don’t come act all spiritual and holy in front of me when you yourself ain’t anywhere better man. Just get out of my sight. From this moment onwards, I ain’t gonna be the nice guy who people think I am anymore. No more mr nice guy, mr fun guy, I’m just gonna be who I really wanna be myself, a person who is selfish, a person who doesn’t wanna trust anyone anymore. Turn to people for help? No way man. Turn to people for help and get ridiculed as if the opposite party has no wrong when in actual fact I did no wrong and that opposite party is the one in the wrong? I had enough. I’m washing my hands off all this shit man.

Why are you still serving?

Quek got a message that on this day, God wants him to know…
… that faith is exactly what it takes to get through uncertainty.

Faith is not necessary when you know how things are going to work out, – that’s knowledge. It’s in the time of unknowing that having faith is what sees you through to the other side. Faith is what gives you strength. Faith is that light in your heart that keeps on shining even when it’s all darkness outside. Now is the time to keep that faith alive!

This is the message that the facebook app wanted me to know. Amidst all this contacts gathering and stuff, my faith has started to waver a bit. When contacts pang seh ah, that feeling really sucks. Its as if the whole world comes crumbling down on you. This Saturday, 3 uncomfirmed contacts. I really hope God blesses this 3 to come down, though 2 are already Christians. Whenever I feel down, I will always ask myself, ”Why am I still serving?’’. Sometimes, you really need to go back down to the basics and ask yourself why you’re still serving. Kinda takes quite a lot of humility to do that y’know.

So, WHY ARE YOU STILL SERVING?

Rendition part 1

Wow service was a blast. Thank God for Mark for coming. And the best thing, he is coming next week. Thank God! I really haven’t felt God’s tangible presence for a long time and I felt it again today. I couldn’t help but just smile back to God during worship. Yeah. Rendition part 2, here I come. More contacts man!

I’m losing my life…

I’m losing the zeal to fight… Sometimes, it’s just so hard to maintain the Christ-likeness in me. Everyone is like saying vulgarities like free, even my old friends from primary school. Sometimes, I’m really tired. I’m really tired of upholding the “I am a Christian” image. It’s really tiring. Really, really tiring. And when people sometimes just don’t trust me, especially my close friends, I feel really really sad. I really have to thank Weijang for being there for me when I’m pissed, sad, happy. Really thank you sheperd. I’m gonna break down real, real soon… but I’m still holding on…

i really need to change

As I did a reflection of my life, I realised I have lots and lots of weaknesses, most of which hinder myself doing work for God.
1. I give up without putting a fight
2. I’m boastful
3. I’m stubborn
4. I’m hot tempered
5. I’m prideful
These are the ones that hinder me working for God. How am I gonna be God’s hands and feet if I’m so imperfect? Pretty impossible huh? But first, I need to change. Of course, it’s gonna be hard, but I’m not gonna a coward(the 10 dollar bill covenant) and back off man! No way! It’s not gonna be easy, but it’ll be easier if I overcome all this with God. Yeah! I can do it!

what keeps me holding on…

This race has been my worst nightmare and it will become worse. I sumpa will all I have now. But what keep’s me running is why I am still serving. To see that smile on God’s face… That smile… I haven’t shared this before, I’m gonna share it now. Before camp, I was very close to backsliding. Its as close as the spacing between the words. One false move, gone. What kept me running was what Wei Jang told me on our first sheperding.
“The reason why people are serving despite all the obstacles is not because they wanna please people. It’s because they wanna see the smile on God’s face.”
Simple words. Deep meanings carved inside. The reason I didn’t backslide, its ‘cos I wanna see the smile on God’s face. It’s not gonna be easy, but its gonna be much easier with God compared to without God. Come on man, God’s grace is always enough. Renhao, you can do it. You can man. Not by yourself, but with God.
Thy will shall be done in my life.

In tribute to MJ.

Lol I know this is random but I’m still gonna do this. I listened to MJ since I was a kid like 3/4 as in literally 3/4 years old. He still rocks, though his dead. LOL. Super random. But just wanna share ’bout this genius to everyone. The videos I put up there are the songs that I like. Hope you all enjoy them. His music will live forever.

Are you B-eing U-nder S-atan’s Y-oke today?

Busy- Being Under Satan’s Yoke. After reading the email that xiangyi sent me, I suddenly recalled one sermon that Pastor Shirley preached quite long ago. It was the sermon about being busy and not having time for God. She used the chinese word, “忙”. If you read chinese, you’ll realise that it consist of the word 心 and 亡. After much elaboration, I remember her saying that if you are too busy and your heart lacks the element of God, the heart will eventually die off. So, never ever say that you are too busy for God, because the devil will be happy if you don’t spend time with God, and God will be heart-broken. So, don’t make God heart-broken!!! Spend quality time with Him!!! Yeah.

‘Nuff Said.