iRun

Faith In God

Ren Hao — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 19:29:28 +0000

I wonder where all the faith we used to have in God has gone to. I mean literally. Just looking at the amount of people not doing well in their group, the amount of “Saturday Christians”, the amount of people backsliding; the number is just astounding. Seriously, where has all the faith and all the zest went to?! All the stuff like “I will serve God all my life”, “It’ll somehow work out with God”, are bullshit?! Just some words we say out of rashness? We really gotta start taking responsibility of our own lives and stop blaming people for our defect in our relationship with God. Yes, there are many factors that may lead us to feel far away from God, but ultimately, it’s up to us to decide whether or not we are gonna perservere on.

No one said that our walk with God is a bed of roses, and no one said that it would definitely end up as a flop. It’s up to you to make it count.

Skeptical Mind vs. Faith-filled Heart

Ren Hao — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 17:42:20 +0000

“You can’t win a skeptical mind with reasons. Try winning it with a faith-filled heard instead” – Keith Lim

There’s always limitations when we do things on our own. Instead of winning a skeptical mind with logic, worldly reasons, why not do it with a faith-filled heart? With faith as small as a mustard seed, you can move mountains. With more faith, is it really that hard to move a skeptical mind? It’s really all in the mind. If you think you can’t move a skeptical mind, you can’t. If you think you can, you can. It’s just a question of how badly you want to win that skeptical mind and how much rejection you can accept.

Leadership

Ren Hao — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 17:07:05 +0000

After a short catchup with Zach, I realised that there’s more than meets the eye in leadership. It’s not just people leading people, but rather, finding solutions and courageously carrying them out; that in the very heart is leadership. Everyone, be it leaders or just ordinary people, wanna seek to get better to reach that level of perfection. However in the midst of doing so, people just point out problems and just complain about how inadequate they are. In the course of doing so, we may lose vision of the end product and lose all we have instead of achieving more. Instead of looking things at a pessimistic point of view, why not work on what we have, suggest solutions or changes in the present that are practical and can be implemented?

I’m sure that God made everyone not to slack, or to follow, but rather to lead. Instead of just following blindly or being apathetic, why not make the best of what we have, no matter how inadequate we are, and make a contribution to any group we are in? Many organisations in the world, or should I say all, are made up of inadequate people, yet, there are so many successful organisations out there. No matter how inadequate we are, everyone has the capability to contribute, be it big or small contributions.

Leadership cannot be inculcated into someone overnight; it has to be done over a period of time. No one in this world is born into this world knowing how to lead. Everyone is made to lead, it’s just whether you want it or not. If you think you can lead, you can lead. Similarly, if you think u can’t lead, you can’t lead. It’s all in the mind.

The person I have become

Ren Hao — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 13:43:06 +0000

Too often at times, we become the person we hate to see ourselves become.

Taken For Granted

Ren Hao — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 15:27:12 +0000

Often at times, we have the best at our side, right in front of our eyes, yet at the same time, its rather ironical that we would just neglect it and take it for granted. At the point of losing something dear or something we’ve once taken for granted, people will grumble, even to the extent cry, when they realise the importance of the person/object. Irony much?

It’s never easy

Ren Hao — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 15:24:57 +0000

It’s always easy to talk, but its never easy to walk the talk. Often at times, my parents always think its easy for me to ace in my studies, but it was never easy. Until today, they still dont realise that I’m not the same person as I used to be. I’m not the guy who used to ace his studies and everything that he did in primary school. I’m no longer that guy. Whenever I try to speak up, you guys will always find something to shoot me back with. Like I said in my previous post, I’m really sick and tired of putting on a mask that shows a me that others want me to be. I’m really very sick. I’m not cut out for studies, SO STOP FORCING ME TO. I hope you see this, and understand why I’ve not been studying that hard. I’m really not cut out to study. Give me a damn bloody break. I need to distress.

God, if You never sleep, if You never slumber, help me. I really need You.

Mixed feelings

Ren Hao — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 16:53:10 +0000

Its been a good half a year since I last blogged. Lots of stuff happened and like… I really hate my life. I don’t know what am I living for, for others, for God, or for myself. It’s like I’m just living everyday life emptily. Really damn sick and tired of being someone I’m not, putting on a strong front, a mask to show others how strong I really am, when deep down, I’m just insecure, insecure of my identity as a Christ-follower and how people view the real me. Lifegroup no longer feels like lifegroup, home no longer feels like home. I no longer feel like me. After running this race for 2 years, I can’t help but ask, What am I doing this for? Am I doing this just to feel up seats in Nexus and out of responsibility, or is it the flame that was once ignited in me and my burden for people? It’s really hard to differenciate between what’s right and wrong now. Whatever seems wrong in the past seems right and whatever seems right in the past seems wrong. Am I living in the past, or am I just ahead of the curve? Quoting from Alvern’s blog, “Central has changed a lot. The presence of the past seemed to have revived our old selves. Introducing what seemed to be new dynamics were actually almost forgotten pasts.”. As I looked back in the past, I can’t help but to break down. When I had the best, I took it for granted. Now that I have seemingly nothing, I can’t do anything to salvage the situation.

God, where are You?

It’s been long

Ren Hao — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 14:34:15 +0000

It’s been real long since I last blogged. I wonder if anyone still comes here. Anyways, I just watched Invictus less than an hour ago and I’ve really learnt a lot about the movie. Francois Pienaar was the captain of the South African rugby team. He was a man who led by example. No matter how his team brought him down, no matter how they flamed him, no matter how they mocked him, he did not falter. He was a man, who changed his entire team. ONE man. ONE man changed the impossible. ONE man changed the team from underdogs to champions. ONE man. After watching the movie, I teared, in a long time. I realised how much of a failure I was, how much I failed people, how much I failed my lifegroup, how much I failed all my sheperds, past and present, how much I failed my family, and most importantly, how I failed God. I gave up at the slightest setback, I gave up when I saw no growth in my lifegroup, I gave up when I recalled about past failures. I lost all faith in God that my group could grow. When the invites for Love Tag ESS were given out, I thought to myself, “Another ESS without contacts again.”. However, everything changed after I watched Invictus. I refuse to believe that I’m a failure, I refuse to believe my group will not grow, I refuse to believe I will not change, I refuse to believe that I won’t even have one contact for ESS, I refuse to believe that I can’t change the group, because I have a big God. The end.

Bigger Picture, after exams, stoning

Ren Hao — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 00:39:23 +0000

It’s been ages since I last blogged and I decided to revive it. Been blog-surfing this few days and I realised that God has been telling me the same word over and over and over this whole week, look at the bigger picture. After reading many blogs and talking to Desmond over dinner yesterday, I realised I’ve been concentrating at small issues of the problem instead of thinking of how to solve everything with just one solution. Anyways, I’ll be posting more often now since exams are over and it’s permanent stoning at home of a no lifer like me and mapling all day long. Hope camp will come really soon since it’s the only camp I’m looking forward to(not for fun but to meet God). Oh yeah saturday was great although I missed praise because I overslept. Sermon struck me a lot as I went to service with a heavy heart. P.S. I haven’t slept for 69 hours(no joking). Needa catch up on sleep, relationship with God and people.

They Don’t Care About Us

Ren Hao — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 11:39:53 +0000

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
Situation, aggravation
Everybody allegation
In the suite, on the news
Everybody dog food
Bang bang, shot dead
Everybody’s gone mad

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

Beat me, hate me
You can never break me
Will me, thrill me
You can never kill me
Jew me, sue me
Everybody do me
Kick me, kick me
Don’t you black or white me

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

Tell me what has become of my life
I have a wife and two children who love me
I am the victim of police brutality, now
I’m tired of bein’ the victim of hate
You’re rapin’ me of my pride
Oh, for God’s sake
I look to heaven to fulfill its prophecy…
Set me free

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
trepidation, speculation
Everybody allegation
In the suite, on the news
Everybody dog food
black man, black male
Throw your brother in jail

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

Tell me what has become of my rights
Am I invisible because you ignore me?
Your proclamation promised me free liberty, now
I’m tired of bein’ the victim of shame
They’re throwing me in a class with a bad name
I can’t believe this is the land from which I came
You know I do really hate to say it
The government don’t wanna see
But if Roosevelt was livin’
He wouldn’t let this be, no, no

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
Situation, speculation
Everybody litigation
Beat me, bash me
You can never trash me
Hit me, kick me
You can never get me

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

Some things in life they just don’t wanna see
But if Martin Luther was livin’
He wouldn’t let this be

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
Situation, segregation
Everybody allegation
In the suite, on the news
Everybody dog food
Kick me, strike me
Don’t you wrong or right me

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us